I don't think your post was rambling. Sorry to hear you are having trouble finding a good fit for your child. From what I have read, yes leaving the giftedness to take care of itself is usually not a good idea, leads to more problems not less.
Very long shot idea - any chance the school(s) you like would take your child for part time, a few days a week, giving you a few to tackle the iq part? Would that work for your child?
Very best of luck to you and your son, and welcome to the forum!

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