Thank you everyone for your replies, I'll address some points:
Artana: I agree with you but I still find myself torn between "if I send him to this school it may cause more problems one way but if I homeschool I might be causing problems another way".
Dazed&Confused: I've spoke to quite a few people who homeschool their ASD/Asperger's children (gifted or not). They are success stories and I've reading accounts from parents with Asperger's who homeschool their Asperger children and remain adamant that kids with Asperger's should be homeschooled, as even the most supportive environment (like the school I have investigated) can still be a big trigger.
hkc75: we have only just started tackling the sensory issues (first OT session was today). His sensory problems are a massive factor in his behaviour in a classroom (running around/stimming, disruptive others, aggression, etc). He is starting a social skills group this week, I really hope it does some good but my son's psychologist said that because my son is so oppositional and uses his smarts to try and get around everything, the social skills group might not work
We did trial a gymnastics class but he ran around the gym being disruptive, swinging the ropes which could have hurt someone and so on (most of the time he stayed in the foam ball pit). His social skills need so much work. He is a really social, friendly child who wants to make friends and play but he just goes about it all the wrong way and isolates children.
renie1: my son wouldn't be able to have a 1:1 aide enough to cover a school day including the recess times. But with our views on why we would homeschool, the mainstream schools around here are typical of the education system we so disagree with (which is why we were always going to homeschool our children). Some of the local schools claim to cater to gifted kids but all they do is give the child some extra work in class, and I don't agree with that.
BKD: I suspect the school principal and psychologist didn't realise just how 'gifted' my son is. My son's psychologist specialises in giftedness and from her observations she believes he is in the 'exceptionally gifted' category and at great risk of being failed by the education system. When I told the school my son is reading at a mid-primary school level (maybe even higher) they just said "yes, but how much does he comprehend about what he's reading?" Again, it was in the context of "forget the IQ, it's just a number".
I guess we can always just give it a go, assuming they offer us a place. Another thing the school said is that they are a boot camp when it comes to the children being expected to follow the rules. If children act inappropriately (such as hitting) they lose privileges such as cooking class or an excursion. Many parents (including me) really don't like this exclusionary approach, however the school argues that "it works, and pretty quickly too. The children learn very early on that if they step out of line there are consequences". They claim to have a really high success rate and I sincerely hope they know what they're doing... they also claim to help Aspie kids with anger management, control of emotions and so on. I hate the thought of my son being excluded from something because he has acted on impulse-- I have seen how much this damages his confidence.
He has the emotional sensitivities most gifted kids have. On top of that though, he has the magnified responses that Aspie kids often have
I am concerned he would be 'punished' for acting in a way that he simply can't control at that point (damn, I forgot to ask the school about this).
Thank you all for your replies!
