Hi tory, it's just what I was told by early intervention people and those "in the know". But regardless, we wouldn't send him to a mainstream school so we haven't further investigated.

Just a little update if anyone is still reading! I spoke to my son's psychologist about the school and she agreed that the "ignore the intellectual ability, treat the behaviour" is a concern but we can always do enough with him outside school hours and that he definitely does need the social side of things. The psych will be writing a letter to the school mentioning that my son is highly likely to be disruptive if he is not receiving work that suits his level of ability. So at least we will have one expert backing us up (my son's psych specialises in giftedness).