I think the punitive approach works in the short-term but not in the long term. It has never worked that well with my oldest. I was such a stubborn kid - yeah, you want to take that away from me? Fine, I never wanted it in the first place. It can be a great way to squelch a love for something.
Afterschooling in the early years can be quite easy. I used a curriculum called FIAR. It was basically a list of books and it gave you geography, history, art, music, math, science ideas to bring up with each book. It was great to snuggle up and read a book and discuss these things at the end of the day. By 2nd grade, the homework was piling up, afternoon sporting activities and increased stress at school from lack of challenge required even more downtime in the evenings.
I don't think you need someone in a similar situation, just someone who understands your situation.
