And if he's getting the spelling words wrong, I'm betting he's frustrated. And feeling stupid and defensive.

He's got deschooling written all over him! frown

Can you pull him out of school now?

What will happen if you blow off the school's homework? What if you forbid to let them take away recess? (I know of a mom who did this in my son's 1st grade class. She marched in and said that recess was mandatory for her child because he needed the exercise, and that if they took it away, she'd pull him out right then. The teacher backed down. Might be worth a try--in a milder manner, of course...)

I might suggest even letting the afterschooling fall by the wayside unless it's fun for him. This is a kid who needs some fun with his learning! I think you're right that he needs to remember that learning and joy can go together. He needs opportunities for discovery, not more worksheets and spelling words.

(BTW, being GT and being a good speller don't necessarily go together. Try some conceptual work with him: geometry or poetry or something with big ideas involved.)

Focus on his strengths! He needs some boosting up right now, I think.

FWIW...

Kriston