I agree that in order to answer your kids' questions you need to have answered those questions for yourself first.
You know, now that I think about this some more, I'm not sure I agree. I have a lot of questions about my beliefs--far more questions than answers, actually! It's one of the reasons that I've not really settled on a religion, though I would like to find one that suits me and I definitely consider myself a person who needs some sort of spiritual outlet. But really, I feel pretty okay with having more questions than answers. I mean, no one actually has certainties about these matters! We have beliefs and hopes and guesses, but we're all human. We don't KNOW the answers. The whole point of religion is to guide our beliefs and hopes and guesses. Of course we should share our faith with our kids. But it is human also to have questions, and I think we should share those, too.
I mean, the reason that kids ask these big, deep, philosophical questions is the same reason that all the world's religions deal with them in one way or another: because they're unknowable, unanswerable. The only answers available to us come out of faith, which is a process, not a destination. So I think it's okay to say, "Here's what we know, here's what we believe, and here's where I still have questions." It's honest, it's real, and it's a valuable portrait of a person trying to answer those same questions that the child is asking.
We don't feel that we have to have all the answers to the other questions our kids ask, but we still help them to find answers, right? Why are religion and morality any different? Why can't "I don't know, but I'm trying to figure it out" be an acceptable response?
Sorry. I don't mean to get all philosophical on you over a throw-away comment, Cathy.
But it struck me when I read that line that it may be all this certainty that's my problem. If I don't have certainty, I think I can still share my spiritual journey with my child in a very effective fashion!
At least I hope so, since that's what I'm doing...
