I'd be wondering: what was overwhelming? Was it overstimulating (too noisy, too chaotic)? Was DD upset because other children seemed to be more competent than she? Was somebody unkind or indifferent? Give her a little time to decompress and ask some questions about these things. Check in with her to see if she can identify any physiological reactions she experienced. I hate to keep pounding away with my "anxiety hammer" but it sounds like...anxiety.
I think it was a combination of things. I don't think she felt like a valued member of the "team", I don't think it had anything to do with competency (if anything I think she thought she would be more competent at running it!), she complaining about it being too loud and chaotic, and just not a good fit for her. After having a great afternoon at home and a long talk with both parents I feel she actually made the decision that was best for her at the time. She wants to work on being able to remove herself from future situations in a more positive manner, as she realizes her behavior was not the best choice and did not give her a chance to recover without feeling embarrassed (her words not mine). Maybe we can all learn something from this...
FWIW, I'd have "rescued" too,
Thanks - that helps, we feel like we make try to make the best decisions for our kids, but every now and then one wonders when being the rescuer does more harm than good. My hubby reminded me that she is only 12, and that rescuing is still OK :-)
I'm working through a lot of this sort of thing with my DS right now, trying to strike a balance between requiring some commitment to activities and understanding there are some major skill gaps.
Being a good parent really is all about balance...isn't it.
