But he would absolutely hate a contrived leadership camp. A technology camp with 4 projects and leadership opportunities...great. A camp where you work on national history day projects with leadership or partnership skills as a benefit fine. Model UN, some sort of state government camp...all good.
I guess I think you need a real activity that you are passionate about and not just leadership as the camp focus...you won't be a leader at every activity or project.
Well, this is my "duh" moment! Cookie you are brilliant...and I should have thought this through. In hindsight, I should have seen this coming a mile away, if I would have really thought about the focus of the camp. Not that this excuses dd's complete shut down today, but if I would have been a smart Mom I could have saved her the grief. We obviously still need to work on what to do when life isn't going your way aspect of all of this, and that will be the lesson I take away.
I second the Cookie is brilliant comment! I think my DS would react similarly to a "contrived" leadership camp, even though he considers himself a leader because he has kind of a commanding personality.
Don't beat yourself up--it sounds like you were hoping to offer an opportunity for growth in a strength area and it was disappointing (for both you and your DD).
I'd be wondering: what was overwhelming? Was it overstimulating (too noisy, too chaotic)? Was DD upset because other children seemed to be more competent than she? Was somebody unkind or indifferent? Give her a little time to decompress and ask some questions about these things. Check in with her to see if she can identify any physiological reactions she experienced. I hate to keep pounding away with my "anxiety hammer" but it sounds like...anxiety.
FWIW, I'd have "rescued" too, since this is not a required activity and the only real lesson you'd be teaching (IMO) is that mom will throw you in the deep end to sink or swim. If she is prone to overwhelm/anxiety, I don't see a lot of good coming from that unless you've specifically, concretely communicated to her that this activity is necessary and you will help scaffold any lagging skills. No learning takes place if a child is so overwhelmed they go into fight/flight/freeze. I think she needed her adult and her adult showed up--that is also a good lesson, even if it's not the one you intended to teach.
I'm working through a lot of this sort of thing with my DS right now, trying to strike a balance between requiring some commitment to activities and understanding there are some major skill gaps. I think it's okay to take some time to reflect on what's most important for your DD's intellectual/social/emotional development and set some small goals, with scaffolding.
