After reading this post some may say that she does NOT have great leadership qualities? You may wish to work with her on a list of characteristics of leadership, what makes a good leader, etc.
Good point. I should have prefaced by saying in variety of situations she does, this was an epic fail. :-).
Many families have used helpful resources such as:
I have some of these and will check out the rest - thanks.
It sounds like your child is most comfortable with a lot of structure and knowing what is coming next,
The funny thing is my daughter said almost that same thing to the lead counselor, however, in practice I have seen the opposite side of her more often than not. She actually seems to thrive in a more free flow atmosphere with some structural limits.
but lacks the give-and-take skills to collaboratively brainstorm with others on what may be some good ways to structure or organize something?
Again this has been situational, she thrives in some environments and is a collaborative member, in others she did what she did today.
You may wish to attempt revisiting those conversations with her at home:
- What are some things you could have done differently?
- What are some things you might choose to do differently when a similar situation presents itself in the future?
We have, and again she totally heard and got the gentleman's points. And she always has ideas of how to handle things differently, the problem is the heat of the moment takes over her brain, and we are back at square 1 or maybe 2 at this point and then she gets incredibly down on herself for letting it happen again.
Is she aware of signs that her tension is building? Might she learn to take a moment to compose her thoughts? Would a simple checklist help her?
- Is something dangerous (or does she just not like it)?
- Is something wrong, meaning bad, such as against the law, rules, or ethics (or does she just not like it)?
- Etc... questions tailored to whatever her sticking point(s) may be
This is the path I am going to explore with her now...
Rigid thinking can be a sign of ASD.
I'm sorry I don't know what ASD is.....
What approach did the school take, that you might adopt and use to coach her consistently in the same manner at home?
They did what we suggested, which is to give her the space to come to a good decision on her own. In general, if she has 5 minutes to escape from the situation to think about it she will make good choices. She did not have an opportunity today to compose herself privately and this may have exacerbated the situation.
One idea might be to not rescue her from camp under these circumstances.
It's a tightrope we walk...at some point you have to take into consideration the other people that are being affected which is why the decision was made to remove her today. But as I said to my husband today...I won't be able to rescue her in college so she is going to have to figure out how to work it out herself.
Some may say the idea of intellectual peers would not apply at leadership camp in the same manner it would in a classroom focused on academic curriculum.
I would disagree with that, because I have seen it in play over the last several years.
You may wish to help her learn to articulate precisely what seems unfair...
Yep.
If she's not ready to practice these skills with others in person, possibly books may help..
Good idea.
Another idea may be to brainstorm with her on finding the good. You might begin by an exercise in having her find the good in the camp activities, other kids, and camp leadership. You may wish to have her write a letter to the camp director thanking him for those good things which she experienced. She might even be able to come up with something which she learned (even if it was a latent thought which bloomed upon reflection at home after leaving camp).
Another good idea..thanks indigo.
