So, I thought I found a great camp option for dd12...a leadership camp....she has great leadership qualities so I thought this would be right in her wheelhouse.
First day went so-so according to her. She was not happy with the lack of organization and the teen leaders "fairness". Her words, I wasn't there so I have no idea. The guy who organizes it left me a message last night saying the dd was upset yesterday, but they thought they had it worked out.
We show up this morning and the adult leader just checks in to see if everything is OK, dd again reiterated the lack of organization and fairness issue, to which he says it is all part of the leadership camp, that the point is to work together as a group and some situations are purposefully not organized to see how the groups work together in finding solutions. Throughout the conversation I can tell dd has tuned him out, but the man makes very valid points that we have struggled with for dd....about how you need to go along with the flow sometimes, learning how to compromise, that a strong leader needs to not lead sometimes, that once you get to high school and college you will need to be flexible...all fine and good, we've danced this dance before with her and had made what we thought was pretty darn good progress.
This afternoon I get a call from dd in tears, come pick me up PLEASE...so I talk to the lead guy and after hearing what they both have to say think the best course of action is to retrieve her from the camp. She is in tears, thinks there is something wrong with her, why does this always happen...etc. Truth is it used to happen a lot, but we removed her from a fancy private school 2 years ago and into a smaller gifted school and it really hasn't happened much at all in the last 18 months. I feel like we have taken a huge step backward.
How can I help this kid? I don't want her to bail on situations that aren't going according to her plan. I want to give her the tools to be able to be part of a team (that are not her peers)if the situation calls for it. Let's face it 99.9% of the world is not like her, so unless her circle is very small she is going to need to make it work at times. I would love her to have the fortitude to not let the small stuff get to her.
We are homeschooling this year because her gifted school closed. I worry that we are by isolating her more this way, and it may be an even bigger struggle in the years to come. But I welcome the lack of drama.
She is great peer to peer(individual or group), or with adults, but has always struggled fitting in with same age mates. She is well adjusted, funny, outgoing, and creative, but this hurdle of letting her world fall apart if things don't go according to her idea of fair or just is debilitating. If you didn't know her you would think she is being defiant or is spoiled, but I don't believe that to be the case.
Ugh..how can I help this kid? She is sitting next to me beading right now and happy as a clam, totally over the earlier trauma, but I am heartbroken for her. Any ideas on how to give her the tools to ride out these patches without totally shutting down?
Thanks.....
