Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional and yet another thread

First, I am actually going on an all-day field trip with my DD's 5th grade class today, so am taking a break from the obsession for a few hours, a least.

The more I read, the more questions I have. These are mostly in reference to ASD, which seems to be a really complicated diagnosis, sometimes. In a sense, this is more of my online journaling because my thoughts are all over the place.

Diagnostic questions:

School counselor suggested a potential motor-planning issue bc DS was irritating his teacher by being slow and clumsy with his (big) binder. This is not the same as a fine-motor issue, correct? School OT administered VIM (I think?) and he was above average. Is motor-planning something we should look at, and is it part of ASD (I don't see it anywhere in DSM). My son does not seem particularly clumsy and in fact has a beautiful baseball swing but he taught himself this via VIDEO GAMES and coaching. LOL

He does struggle a lot with simple things like dressing himself. It takes forever, even when he is motivated.

2) Constipation/encopresis issues, severely delayed full toilet training, nighttime enuresis (improved but not resolved). Not in DSM. ASD symptom?

3) Pragmatic speech issues mostly related to inability to monitor himself appropriately and anticipate others' reactions. EFD or ASD? This one seems to be the most obvious ASD thing...but could be discrete disorder?

4) ADHD (inattentive/impulsive) which never seemed to fully account for behavioral issues. Not hyperactive. Does well one-on-one with or without medication. Extraordinarily distracted by externals.

5) Remarkable ability to learn all there is to know about subject of interest. For instance--baseball. Knows all current info, as well as complete baseball history. It is next to impossible to ask him even very obscure question without his knowing the answer. However--he has not had serial obsessions, really. Unless creative endeavors count.

6) Huge spread between GAI and PSI on the only FSIQ he has ever taken, age 7. However, his IQ has been all over the place, even just the GAI. High at age 5, borderline gifted at 7 (but he was very stressed), high again last year when re-tested for this program (but not as high as it was at 5, by a long shot).

7) Thought of one more: dx'd anxiety disorder. When younger, had what I thought were OCD symptoms (phobias) that lasted a really long time. Terrified of tornadoes, had to process every single "what if?" every night for months, then moved on to childhood cancer. Terrified of alarms (this is getting better) but not clear if it's the sensory overload or anxious thoughts that accompany them. He is still somewhat hypochondriacal and scared of tornadoes but can process this using (homespun) CBT methods and calm himself, now. Deep breathing, guided meditation helped when he was younger.

I am starting to think that he is much more unusual than I realized, having looked at all of this the lens of autism. It's hard for me to conceptualize it because I have mostly just adapted to him and vice versa. I don't really struggle with him, with a few exceptions, mostly when I try to force him to do something (he requires a very conscious approach, which drains my energy). I've largely just stopped doing that because it was futile and caused a lot of negativity in the family. And that was probably a mistake.