This has turned into a more strident debate than the original nature/nurture.

My mother was a physician, though worked very little when we were small. But the message was always: you will be a doctor or a dentist, in the position of power. Thinking that I would head off to Wall Street wasn't on the radar of engineering/medical parents.

I always thought I would work and have a nanny, because how much care did an infant need? But circumstances were that we actually did a temp retirement (we were older and wanted a break and travel) and so I wasn't working. And my issues witha an infant that snacked and I had to pump at night to supplement made me so tired that I couldn't remember what day it was.

But it made me very aware of nanny care -- and I saw some good ones -- and involved mothers around me. I am not saying quantity, quality but now women have choices to be creative about their work, especially if gifted.

I have a friend who plays an instrument with the Met Opera and works from 8 pm. Now that her son is a teenager and she is not around, parenting is very hard and she is torn about having to work (single parent) and be there for her son as he deals with the teen years. Who would think about that when choosing a career that you would have to worry about your ability to be involved in the teen years?

What I see, is that many women, because we have gotten spoiled by being able to go to work and enjoy the fruits of money and independence before having a family is that they just don't want the tedious work of the hands-on part of a mom.

I think much of it is boring, dirty and a pain. And I would rather be getting "strokes" for being brilliant on some deal. But the pay off of those moments of seeing the effect of your "work" and feeling like an artist, that this child is flowering under your care, is (apologies to Mastercard) priceless.

And, I have found, that being HG myself, I can create new opportunities for myself at any point. And recreating my career is a cool challenge in itself.

I know some people must work for the financial need, but I also think you can make money any time and the investment in your chld is a once in a liftime opportunity.

My mother and the feminist movement allowed me to pursue a career that would give me power and opportunity for many choices, to be a mother and have a career.

Ren