Originally Posted by Austin
My Mom and MGM both went to college. The latter played pro-basketball during the 1920s and later ran a large business with her husband as the figurehead. Both were voracious readers and Feminists, but also romantics and deeply committed to their own personal freedom - my MGM loved to read Vanity Fair and Vogue even in her 80s. Both were neglectful mothers to a moderate degree, focusing on their personal interests and careers.


I have to admit, statements like this make me very nervous.

Certainly it is possible to neglect one's kids out of selfishness. From what you've told us elsewhere, it sounds like you were the victim of neglect, and that's certainly not okay. But this statement makes it sound like the only way for women *NOT* to neglect their kids is to give up all "personal interests and careers." (Men seem exempt.)

I'm hoping that's not how you meant it, but the sound of it does get my feminist hackles up!

I think it's pretty clear that happy, fulfilled parents (not hedonists, but people who feel they have meaning in their lives) generally make better parents. Certainly parents (male and female!) who bring kids into the world have a responsibility to those kids. Neglect is not okay. But plenty of stay-at-home moms neglect their kids, too. One can read Vogue or have a career or be deeply committed to personal freedom and not neglect one's children. I have my own interests--as does everyone here that I've talked to!--but I love and care for my kids, too.

Again, I think it's clear that your case was, indeed, one of neglect. But I don't want the particulars of that one case to get overgeneralized inappropriately. And I couldn't call myself a feminist in good conscience if I didn't say something about it.

Thanks! smile

Kriston