Originally Posted by Wren
Because I am interacting with DD3 all the time, I think maybe MG not HG because I am so used to her. Last Friday we did a make up class at Little Gym and there was an instructor unknown to her. As she sat there eating granola, the guy came over and started a conversation with her and I didn't join in. And I had one of those moments where I am looking at my kid, and I am not her mother, and I went Wow. After class, I ran over to her to get shoes and socks on to head out to a playdate and the guy turns to me and makes a comment "she is so-o smart" and the other guy quickly turns and says, "yeah, she is way smart". So how much does the casual observer have to see if they are interacting?

My DS at 3 or 4 would have rarely engaged a stranger like this. Or even a preschool teacher. His preschool teachers had him pegged as possible ADHD. He did what he had to fit into his preschool environment. At home we were reading the Chronicles of Narnia and James and the Giant Peach. At school, he wouldn't sit still for story time. We did get some comments on him if he'd spend a few hours with someone, but not typically.

My daughter at 3.5 is a teachers delight and is much more willing to show her stuff at this age. I had a preschool conference a couple weeks ago for her that was absolutely raving. Do I think she's more gifted? In my gut, I really doubt it. She's a bit socially more mature and more of a pleaser. Her interests lie more in the realm of what teachers would find favorable.

Originally Posted by Wren
Would you trust your pension fund to someone from Mexico making $15-$20 an hour? That is how I felt about DD's care. I just couldn't. I wouldn't be able to fix the mistake. Only one chance.

As someone who's been at home for going on 8 years with my children, I certainly didn't do it for brain development of my kids. I did it for the emotional and mental health of our entire family. I actually felt a bit bad when DS started kindergarten he didn't attend full time Montissori with all the readers in his class. And I don't think we need to make this a sexist thing. There are 5 stay at home dads at my daughters preschool. This is not uncommon at all around here.

But some people NEED to work for the economics. And some people NEED to work for their own sanity and find that they can be better parents to their children with that outlet outside the home. Everyone knows their own situation best and has to find a fit that works for them. Some people find childcare they love and are comfortable with. I couldn't, but I have no problem if other people do.

Originally Posted by OHGrandma
Ren, doing all you can to give your child the best start in life is one of the highest callings a person can have. Just don't expect a guaranteed outcome for the job. There are genetic limits, there are physical limits outside your control, and the child also has control over his own life eventually; there are no guarantees what he will choose to do, or not do.

OHG - very well stated! Thanks!