Originally Posted by Kriston
Certainly it is possible to neglect one's kids out of selfishness. From what you've told us elsewhere, it sounds like you were the victim of neglect, and that's certainly not okay. But this statement makes it sound like the only way for women *NOT* to neglect their kids is to give up all "personal interests and careers." (Men seem exempt.)

I'm hoping that's not how you meant it, but the sound of it does get my feminist hackles up!

Balancing childrens' and one's own needs is a topic in itself.

Ironically, from a Feminist perspective, my DM's ( and MGM) bad judgements had nothing to do with being independent or being smart or being a woman or her ideals, but with who she was. In the end she dealt with problems at home by avoiding them and focusing on other things where she had more control and could measure the results. It was not a choice at all. I sometimes think their success in some areas was related to avoiding it in others.

This is a fault and a trap that is very human. Neglect has many causes. Burying oneself in work is just one.

Men are mostly exempt from the innate emotional sensitivity to there being a conflict. I know that it does not bother me that I have a career and a son. I just give him 100% attention when I am home. My DW, OTOH, feels guilty that she is not there all the time. (Maybe I am just avoiding worrying about it!!)