I volunteer in the school a lot and over the years there has been one boy in my DD8 class whose attitude and demeanor have always rubbed me the wrong way. This year I started considering the possibility that he might be highly gifted and after doing so much gifted reading on my own I now realize that there can be certain uncontrollable behavior and personality traits that accompany being gifted.
Honestly, it made me more tolerant of his condescending tone and rude behavior. I don't let it slide anymore then I would have before hand, but knowing that he may not have complete control over it makes me have more patience towards it.
FWIW, I don't hold him accountable to any higher standard of behavior then I hold any other 3rd grader to and I feel that being respectful (even when you disagree) is an extremely important human trait to possess regardless of intellectual capability. Now when I feel like he is being rude or disrespectful I take more time to explain to him why his tone or his actions are not acceptable to me (rather then assuming he understood by my dissatisfaction with him).
I think the teacher who made the zero comment to your son was totally out of line and I would probably be having a conference over that. No child deserves to be ridiculed by the teacher in front of their peers. That seems bizarre and cruel to me.
