http://blogs.babycenter.com/mom_stories/i-hate-hearing-about-your-gifted-child/This post was shared on another discussion, and I really think it deserves its own conversation because it brings up so many issues that we, as parents of gifted children, face. Whether it is envy, insecurity, or some other emotion that evokes the attitude in the post above, it is something that each of us - and our children - have faced at some point or another.
I'd love to hear how your child or your parenting have been misunderstood and how you dealt with it. I've come to learn that there is a lot of wisdom on this board and look forward to what each of you share.
My own story that best define the misconceptions that others have about raising a gifted child:
My middle son was in seventh grade, had recently transferred from a private school into public, and was, shall I say, not putting forth anywhere near his best effort as he coped with the social and structural changes of the new school.
When his health teacher chided him in front of the entire class that he "wasn't stupid" and that she knew he knew the answer, he decided to teach her a lesson. I did not discover this decision for several weeks until a note came home letting me know he was failing all of his classes due to zeros. Mind you, not zeros for not turning in his work, but zeros on completed work, tests, and every other assignment. When I asked him why, his response:
"It's a lot harder to do all the work and get a zero than it looks. You have to pay attention or you accidentally get one wrong."
At this point, I decided that my whole attitude at gifted classes being "elite" was wrong, I went to the school counselor and asked that my son be screened. She looked at his grades and said that she refused to reward his poor performance with the "privilege" of being tested for gifted. She did the whole head-pat thing with me and said, "Every parent here wants their kid to be gifted, but, let's face it, most aren't. And your son obviously isn't."
My response thoroughly offended her, but I felt it needed said. "Anyone who wishes giftedness on their child has no idea the cost they are exacting on their child. A high IQ is not a ticket to being special or successful. It is simply the way a child is born, and with it usually comes challenges socially and emotionally that most children will never face. I wouldn't wish it on any child, but I embrace it completely in my own, because that is the way he's made. And I will do everything I have to to make sure he gets the services he needs to be successful."
I handed her a letter the next day requesting formally that my son be tested. When the screening was completed, the teacher who conducted the screening called and told me my son had scored higher on the test than anyone had ever scored at the school.
To this day (my younger son now attends that school) - almost 7 years later - the counselor still won't speak.
