This is a really great discussion! My kids are still very young (21 months and 3 1/2), but they stand out as being very different from other children their age. I long ago took the stance of never discussing milestones or things they were saying/doing with anyone other than my husband and my parents. I never even discuss these things with my brother. His son is almost 8, but it appears my 3 year old has already surpassed him in math and reading skills. I don't see anything good coming out of discussing these things. Anyone that comes into contact with the kids can plainly see they are different and highly intelligent - there is no need to bring it up or remind people. Most people with children just do not want to hear it.
I won't lie if someone asks me directly. There have been many occasions for strange looks and questions when we've been out in public and the kids have just been being themselves. Like at a family reunion when my 1 1/2 year old read the words on my Aunt's sweatshirt... she about passed out. I could tell she wanted to take my daughter around and show everyone, but I quickly tried to change the subject before she could whisk her away. Still, people will talk - there isn't much you can do about that.
We are considering enrolling our son in a private gifted kindergarten. We aren't referring to it as a gifted school, but just as a private school. When asked, we say we like their small classroom sizes and we think that's a better match for our kid's personality than the larger public school classrooms. This is totally true, and an important reason. It also isn't putting down the public school option or making it sound elitist, we are just saying this particular private school is a better fit. We just leave out the part about the advanced cirriciulm and their expertise in dealing with exceptionally gifted children!
I was labeled as gifted as a child. I did sometimes find it hard to relate to my peers, but I had some older friends and I also found a way to develop positive relationships with friends my own age. I was in camp fire girls, and I remember just always being shocked by how ...er... uninformed my fellow camp fire girls seemed. But this was an important life lesson. I had to learn to connect with people on some level. Maybe these girls didn't want to talk about math - but they knew a lot about riding horses, or make-up (for example) that I didn't. I remember I wrote a play for our group because I knew they were good with make up and costumes - it even included a musical number because one of them had an amazing voice. I became friends with these girls, and they accepted me.
Learning to connect with people is such an important life skill. 2giftgirls, I think it's great you have your daughter in girl scouts! With work and patience, I think she can find ways to connect with these girls and develop friendships. Music is great for that too - it can really be a place for some gifted kids to shine!
I am worried about my 3 1/2 year old's social skills. He considers adults to be his friends. He is finally cultivating a friendship with a girl in his montessori class that is 6. Kids his own age, though, he seems 100% uninterested in. He's still very young, of course, so I am hoping it'll get better. But I know that highly gifted kids sometimes struggle socially, and I do worry that is a path he is heading down. I'm not too worried - just slightly above the normal baseline "mother worry" levels.
Anyway, back to the original topic at hand.... no, I make a serious effort to not brag. I focus on more socially neutral topics, but I'm honest if asked directly.
Phew! I sure wrote a lot!
