In Australia it's my experience (and others might have found things to be different) that while you'd appear to be bragging if you came out and said 'my little Penny is the best swimmer in the State', if you said 'little Penny can't come to Johnny's party because she's got swimming trials' no one would bat an eyelid. If you said she couldn't come because she had a spelling bee people would feel sorry for Penny, think you were stealing her childhood AND implying your kid was smarter than theirs or that they were deficient parents for not insisting that Johnny do spelling bees.
I never really thought about this and I suppose I should consider myself fortunate. Our kids go to a public school, but one where academics is given primary importance. At our school, "I'm taking Penny to a spelling bee" gets the same positive reaction as "I'm taking Penny to swimming trials".
