You know, a lot of a child's 'special learning needs' depends on personality as well. So I exploit this in conversation quite a bit. In my "Hi We're New" speech, I talk some about DSll "needing to cary big rocks" as a personality quality. I try to throw in an appreciative comment about "I just love how some kids create challenge for themselves - I wish there was more of that in my child's personality - but you have to take them as they are" ((Frown, Head shake and shoulder shrug)) This, followed by a quick subject change to their child's experience or if have had any similar experiences keeps me in a comfort zone. Not that this approach has resulted in me being inundated with invites for coffee or anything - yet - but I hope I'm not irritating people, and that I'm creating a tiny bit of acceptance out in the ND world. I try to create the tone of 'This is the only way, it is hard in some ways, but our family is brave and realizes that all parents do the best they can, us included.'
Once your child has an accomidation, most people realize that they don't want their child in that situation, and that your kid must need it, cause they will get reports from their kid that your kid is 'smart.'
Pull Out Programs are different - they are seen as 'perks.' Plus the kid is still gifted '24/7' - although I think pull out programs can be very useful for gifted kids, they are just harder to 'sell.'
I haven't seen much by way of claws, but that could be in part that my son is tall, and loud, and has lots of externalizing behavior - so Parents notice right off the bat that there is a 'tiger in my tank.' In the begining the hardest thing for me socially was the opposite, when the other kid's parents would say: "Is DS going to be a lawyer when he grows up?"
Those kinds of comments floored me. Now I just say, "Are you ok?" And yes, I do get a certian pride from having him be "like that."
