Another Californian here, Val, so I know whatcha mean! And, it IS terrible for gifted kids. One psych flat out told me that gifties are more likely to get an appropriate education in a poor neighborhood public school than a wealthy one. The schools that are in "high SES areas" want to believe that they are already operating at a very high level. When I say that my son needed more challenge, the pat response is, "but you live in a high SES area. The school should be good." What a non-starter! I mean, what exactly does that mean? What my son's peers are working on is irrelevant to what he needs as an individual. If he were slow, would we say, "but you live in a high SES area. The school should be good." I just cannot make sense from that.
It's not really the school's fault, though. It's public opinion. I honestly got the feeling that the school might have been willing to accommodate if I had offered proof for them that he should be given harder work. The real issue was the other parents. I knew that if I got any more treatment, anything better, the other parents would be furious and we would become pariahs. And, if the work still wasn't appropriate, it would mean month after month of meetings and me feeling like I was asking for too much. The other parents would feel like I was asking for too much. Frankly, I've totally given up on California publics, in terms of education. All the kids that I went to high school with that are doctors and scientists now were home-schooled. They were enrolled in high school just to socialize, date and to cover for the truth: they were home-schooled.
Oh, and I have had the exact same responses! People tell me that I work my kid too hard. He should be having fun. Blah blah blah. They don't understand my kid! Some people are just more intellectually inclined. Spice of life, People! I mean, o.k., the other day, we were at the park and my son said, "I'm so frustrated that I can't swing by myself. I wish I didn't need to be pushed." I broke the process down and gave him instructions, right? He was happy. I looked up and other parents were scowling at me. One dad said, "Geez, just let go and let the magic happen. It's all about fun." Well, no, actually. He's six years old and embarrassed that he can't swing independently. That's not fun. True self esteem comes from mastery. That's what my son wanted and the look of pride and joy on his face as he began to master the swing was what I really call fun!
