<shrug> It works for me, Dottie. In fairness to me, you haven't heard me do it...
A lot of it is about the delivery. It's inclusive of the person I'm talking to, not exclusive. And it's important that I don't quit at saying that he's bright--which I agree would be problematic--but I go on with the not fitting and the behavior issues, and staying positive about school. It allows PLENTY Of room for bright kids who DO fit.
The benefit is that my approach avoids the dreaded word "gifted" that gives some people such fits, but doesn't make me feel dishonest or leave people with the (wrong!) impression that DS is a bad seed, which leaving the GTness out entirely tends to do. (I know because my mom did that and people kept asking about her "problem grandchild." He's NOT that AT ALL! She has since added the "bright" part and has had much better luck.)
And the fact is that most people don't really care all that much why we're not in school--they just want to know that we're not defective and that we don't think that school is. We're not and we don't.
As I said, if I get to explain why we're not in public school, things go well. Honest! I wouldn't post in a thread like this something that doesn't work for me! I guess I am a bit offended about that.
For the record, when I have chosen to take that tack--and I don't always because it isn't always appropriate in context--there has never been a problem. Not once! Some of those people are now dear friends who have kids in public school!
