What would I have done to myself? I would have told myself it was alright to be left-handed, and be ambidextrous is not weird instead of switching to write on the right. I would have told myself I am not the most stupid person in the gifted school who got there by mistake, I would have noticed I am a good student but kept getting on the wrong side of school rules for reasons I don't understand.
I would have told myself the music teacher wasn't trying to earn more money by telling me I was gifted and wanted me as a private student, I would have worked hard instead to realize my potential instead. I would tell myself not to be cynical that my teacher did not teach me what my friends learn when I moved 5 grades a year. Instead of not believing myself, I should have believed I was at least average. I grew up thinking I was stupid but lucky until I was 33.
What would I have done for my kids? I would not be apologetic that he could do simultaneous equations at 6 while others couldn't add, so I tried to hide that fact. I would not have told people my kids are just average (just like my mom would tell every one I was) when they could skip a few grades and still do well, just so that the other party feels better that his kids are normal.
I would have taught my kids how to handle jealous sports peers who would swear vulgarities at my children when they lost, since my kids started sports late. I have learned sportsmanship sometimes does not exist when it means losing down to an amateur.
I would not have pushed my oldest so hard when he was found gifted in music so that the teacher can put him in concerts and competitions. Perhaps he would have loved his music more if he were allowed to play silly things and have a bit more fun than all the drills. I think he lost his talent along the way from over teaching.
I would spend less time coping with what the school wants: standard behavior, mundane repetitive homework done, and spend more time finding out what my kids want and achieve that together with them. I will spend less time finding out what the common milestones are for kids and gloat that my kids are coping well, but spend more time discovering what they can do and expand the realms of possibilities with them regardless of their age.
I shall not bother what is age appropriate education, but let my children learn whatever they want, whenever they want. I shall not bother to teach standard ways of solving problems, but allow my children to discover and uncover how they can approach problems their own ways.
Fortunately, I have another chance. My older 3 kids have gone to college and the two younger ones are my chance of redeeming myself.
