It makes sense to want to see what other adults see - is there another one you could ask, maybe an adult from an extra curricular activity? Or is there another way to see what she does when you aren't around?
If her personality leans to the snark/argumentative side getting a bit like that in school isn't bad because it sounds like she does understand that it's not appropriate and endeavors to most of the time behave, but not all of the time which is fine since no one is perfect!
But if she is popular, doing well in school it does suggest she is able to control herself when not at home. And you would absolutely know if the school found her outside the norm. Might be worth it to ask her if other kids get in trouble a lot. She might be able to give you that perspective about whether they go easy on other behavior issues.
So then the issue is she letting go of the control it takes to achieve the school and social success or is there something going on between the two of you - a dysfunction of some sort, stuck in a rut of reaction type thing which is separate from a diagnosable LD.
More thoughts, which might be totally irrelevant
DeHe
