See, the thing is, she isn't a pleaser or a hider. So that makes the whole thing more perplexing. However, she does want to get good grades and receive character awards, etc., so it may be that she is adequately motivated by that.
It's not really a binary proposition, where she either absolutely is or is not a teacher pleaser, but I'd say that if she's focused on winning citizenship awards, she at least has tendencies to please.
I debate whether or not school is making her stressed. It seems like a v. stressful environment this year, but things do not get better on weekends or vacations. Summer was very bad for us last year.
The question I would ask here is, "What grade is she in, and how long has she been in an inappropriate learning environment?" Because our experience was that the longer DD was in a bad situation, the longer it took for her to detox. The one year she stuck out the entire school year, first grade, she was... uhhh... better over the summer, but she still wasn't really herself.
After we pulled her out early this year for homeschooling, it took over two months for her to really start becoming herself again. This is two months of knowing she doesn't have to go back to school again, and of actually learning things at an appropriate pace, which is very different from being on vacation.
I guess, in the end, my core question is "Do I want to discuss my doubts and worries and problems with my child with a teacher who has signaled to me in many ways that she does not like DD?" (She doesn't seem to like anyone much, though!)
This sounds like a whole other problem, which may need a totally different approach... like the talk-with-other-parents approach, and/or make-a-formal-complaint-to-the-principal, because if the teacher is generally nasty to all the kids, you're probably not the only parent concerned, and only when several parents complain will the school begin to take it seriously.
"Inappropriate learning environment" is one problem, and "godawful teacher" is another. In combination? Yikes. My condolences.
