A behaviour management approach that our neuropsychologist recommended for my DS12 (ADHD, with some ODD type behaviour) is "collaborative problem solving" outlined in The Explosive Child by Ross Greene. I find the approach very helpful, although it takes practice and planning. I think it is particularly good for kids with advanced verbal reasoning skills. None of the reward/punishment approaches worked very well for us.

Here is the author's website:

http://www.livesinthebalance.org/