Hi,
I would second DeeDee's point about autism spectrum stuff. Our DD has a profile similar in some ways to your son and although we are not convinced we have a correct diagnosis yet I think the closest thing for her is PDD-NOS and gifted. You might want to take another look at that chapter in the Misdiagnosis book, but if you really want to know, you're going to have to go to an expert on gifted and 2e kids. There is a list on Hoagie's Gifted, but unfortunately there may not be one too close to you. But it might be worth it.
Our DD was 'diagnosed' last year with ODD as well, but I don't believe it for a second--however, she will argue with adults (including teachers) if she thinks something isn't fair. What works very well with her is predictable consequences for inappropriate behavior. If she's doing something inappropriate, we promptly give her (one) reminder that she should stop and remind her of what the consequence will be if she does not--and then follow through promptly and calmly if she does continue. Other techniques do not work as well. Last year her teacher would not call her on anything unless the teacher got annoyed and then she would impose a consequence that DD did not expect, which usually resulted in DD getting *very* upset (due to the 'unfairness') and getting in even more trouble. It was just a disaster. But the previous two years (and this year so far, knock on wood) with teachers that did what we do at home, her behavior is very manageable and continues to improve. Just a thought; maybe it isn't relevant to your situation at all. We also let DD unwind at home; fortunately she doesn't have much homework yet (she's 9) so we haven't had that yet but we usually have her 'earn' video game time as a reward for doing chores or being good in school and that has been working pretty well so far.
We did also just get a "Motivaider" as recommended by DeeDee (THANKS DeeDee!) and DD said it helped her some yesterday (her first day)--we'll see. It's a silent 'buzzer' to remind you to keep on task and it's easy for them to set.
Good luck figuring stuff out; hang in there.

Last edited by Dbat; 09/14/12 06:18 AM.