My DS almost 9 is Gifted/ADHD. He has similar profile as your DS though his WM is a little higher and PS is 109. He was initially tested on the WISC at 7.5 and was diagnosed ADHD at a little after 8 years. He is grade skipped and is in the 4th grade in a self contained gifted class (it's a 3/4 classroom). Here is how I explained him to his teacher this year after I summarized his IQ scores and told her he has ADHD.
"DS needs a lot of mental stimulation and has a level of understanding and analysis far beyond his actual years. However, his relative area of weakness on the WISC is in processing speed (PSI is 109 which is average) which manifests itself in difficulty in task initiation and persistence, focusing on uninteresting things for long periods, slow written output and difficulty in taking large projects and breaking them down. He is happy, inclusive and friendly. He generally likes everyone. He has a positive attitude, is a hard worker and is willing to try anything new.
While DS is several years advanced academically, generally, he behaves like a younger 3rd grader. Additionally, because his executive functioning abilities are impaired he does have some behavioral issues. He struggles with impulse control (sometimes acts immediately & impulsively, rarely listens the first time), and responding to social cues (does not understand why classmates find his tapping annoying and/or does understand but is too impulsive to respond appropriately). At the end of last year, we sat down with a team and prepared a 504 plan to accommodate his ADHD which highlights many of the strategies that we developed last year in dealing with some of DS's challenges."
He has accomodations at home and at school to help him with task initiation and persistence. I am a big fan of the books Smart But Scattered and the Nutured Heart Approach - Transforming the Difficult Child Handbook.
I agree that there is likely something else going on with your DS and whether it is ADHD, I don't know (sometimes I still don't know about my own DS.) But, the situation you described above is not that unusual in our house and we have just tried to come up with strategies to help. Sometimes though if my DS has baseball or rehearsal or something else after school, I just don't push the homework and he usually gets it done on time. He does have some accomodations at school that give him additional time if needed. I know my DS is younger than yours but we have put a lot of structures and supports in place (lots and lots of checklists) and he has made significant growth over the last year.
Have you thought about applying to DYS?
