If she were my child (and my child is very similar), I'd work with her to get her to behave. I know it's not easy, but it's a question of respect for the teacher and class and setting aside her own wants and needs to comply with the class. Many will disagree with me, but I believe if a child CAN comply and it's something reasonable (not evil,not degrading, etc), they should do it. That's an important skill to learn IMO and if she can learn it she should.
I don't know how many times I've said, "It doesn't matter if you have an excuse for not obeying, you either obey or you talk to me about it. You don't just decide you know best and do as you please." But it pays off in a child who knows how to advocate for herself and is able to function in a classroom.
I guess part of the problem is that I don't see doodling, spacing out or coloring on one's nails as "misbehavior"...that's part of what I am still trying to figure out...to me, these are coping mechanisms for the boredom. She's not bothering anyone else, talking to others, etc. We complete work on time (if not early) and she does great on tests, so I guess I"m mostly confused as to what the real problem here is.
If the problem is, like the previous teacher said "Your daughter reading while other students are doing xyz compromises my authority in the classroom," I'm concerned that the teacher's focus is not teaching, but maintaining authority...
I DESPERATELY want her to "behave" but she's not bothering anyone else and she is only 8. Surely ALL the kids don't sit there like little stones and stare at the teacher all the time? lol!
