Ok, just to warn you, my reply will likely not bring any useful advice. But it might help with the crazy-making you're feeling right now.
I spent years thinking if I reasoned enough, rationalized enough, pleaded enough, bargained and bribed enough, that my kids would FINALLY "get it" and just settle into the mundane of school.
They didn't.
Not a single year went by for any of my kids (except for last year with my youngest) that I didn't receive emails, calls, appointments for conferences, etc. to point out how my kid was not paying attention in class. Of COURSE they're not paying attention in class; they're bored. The drawing on the nails was mild. My daughter drew massive graffiti designs all over her legs and arms with Sharpies. My older son zoned out. And my youngest draws stick figure scenes (absolutely hilarious ones) and fashions working cannons with cannon balls from paper clips.
I am currently dealing with a science teacher who is very annoyed with my youngest, because she says he spaces out when the other kids are reading from the book in class. I tried to explain that the reason he spaced out is because he got caught up on a specific theory mentioned in the text about fault lines and how the continents were formed. He was mulling the theory over in his mind, because in his opinion it didn't take the forces of water in the ocean into account. He was trying to figure out in his mind whether his hunch was correct or whether he was missing information. Why do I know this? Because it has been an ongoing topic of conversation at dinner for a week between him and his dad who is helping him explore his own theory rather than just debunk it. The teacher wasn't impressed and said he just needs to know how to put those things off until after class.
Sure.
I've decided my job as a mom of a gifted kid is to serve as a buffer between the often ridiculous expectations of the school and the often not appropriate behaviors of my kids.
