My immediate response would be that Butter IS learning how to deal with being bored, so please stop punishing her for it. Point out her past behaviors of true acting out in class and ask them to decide if they'd rather have that than fingernail art and pencil fiddling.
My next immediate response would be that I'd already given them several suggestions that have been demonstrated to work effectively in the home environment that can be applied in school, so if they're not interested in constructive feedback, that's their problem, not mine.
Yeah, tact is not my strong suit.
It might be worth finding out if Butter is doing these things to help her concentrate and pay better attention. These kinds of behaviors can look like distractions, but by giving some part of the mind these distractions, it helps certain types of thinkers focus the other parts on what's going on. This is why ballplayers always have something in their mouths... tobacco, gum, sunflower seeds, etc. All my classmates in my military schools used sunflower seeds to stay awake and focused on some extraordinarily dry material. I've recently taken up doodling during business meetings to stay sharp.
You'd have to observe her yourself to find out if these apparent distractions are a help or a hindrance, because it sounds like you can't really count on the staff to even bother, much less interpret correctly.
