My dd13, who also loves English, is similarly frustrated this year and, I'm sure, coming off as distainful as well. She's actually in a pre-AP English class but having group tests and projects with kids whose work ethic or depth is poor is extremely frustrating to her. She's basically doing most of the group projects herself at this point and studying all of the material for group tests even though she's only responsible for her section of it b/c she has had some bad outcomes when she's relied on the other kids to do their part.
It does seem that teachers are loathe to admit or recognize that there are different needs within their classes and, when kids complain about the level of discussion or the work of their peers, they are assumed to be wrong and arrogant. I've gotten the distinct impression that some of my dd's teachers view it as their job to teach dd that all of the other kids are equally capable whether that is accurate or not.
I really wouldn't have said before that dd was arrogant. She's centered (knows who she is) but doesn't condescend or look down on others. I actually feel like some of the way her schooling is going this year has contributed to making her appear arrogant b/c they are forcing her into situations where she is resentful and banging her head against a wall.
I'm sorry that your dd and so many of our other kids here seem to be in the same spot.
