We have had similar issues at our house. DH is an atheist, I am Catholic and we agreed that we would raise our daughters Catholic. Our thoughts were (and still are) that it is important for them to have knowledge of what a religion is all about and then when they are adults they can make the decision whether or not they believe what they have been taught.

We too have had to deal with the woman at church who doesn't like children who question things - even if they are just asking for clarification and not trying to challenge anyone.

Our decision was partly based on the fact that we live in a society where the majority of people have some sort of religious aspect to their lives (be it Sunday school or Koran classes or what ever) and we didn't want them to have no frame of reference when dealing with others who were going through their first communion or other milestones in their religious lives.

DD8.5 has already pretty clearly decided that she does not believe and thinks that there are too many contradictions in the teachings. She also makes the argument (pretty convincingly I might add) that if all of these ancient civilizations had gods they believed in and were wrong what makes us right? Why are we so egotistical to think that we know so much more than they did? She also has questions like if God created everything, who created God - because things can't just appear, they have to come from something? along with many other questions based on some scientific theories and laws she knows.

We have some very interesting discussions around this. She has made the decision that she will go to Sunday school, learn what they ask her to and go through the milestones that go with the religion so that she can gather "enough data and evidence" to make a knowledgeable decision about whether or not she believes in God. I have told her that she does not yet have enough information to make a final decision about her beliefs because she has only just started to learn about it. (I used the pretty bad analogy of our rule that they can't say they don't like a food without trying it 3 times before making a decision.)

I think it is interesting to see things through her eyes, and I am impressed that she can clearly express her thoughts about this.

She also has some friends who are much more religious than us, and she understands that there are different beliefs and she just goes along with what they do, in terms of saying grace at meals and prayers before bed, when she goes to their house.

So, I do not have any suggestions, but I just wanted to let you know that we too have gone through a similar thing and continue to go through it.