The OG tutor from the private actually checked out the special ed teacher from the public and called to give me a glowing report. ..
That is wonderful news - above and beyond the call of duty for the OG tutor.
So after digesting this we have decided that we will go ahead and enroll DD in the public and step back to allow the principal to do what she thinks is best. We will also plan to hold her and the school district accountable for providing a free and appropriate education.
So now is the time to develop the timeline and paper trail. If you husband spoke in person, then it's time to write a letter detailing what was requested for what reasons, which experts agree with you, and that the principle is going to make her best decision based on the best interests of the child as she sees it.
One of those: "I was hoping you could check to be sure that what we heard is what you said" letters, with a "please get back to me and let me know any misunderstanding that might have developed, I want to work closely with you so we can do what's right for DD as a team."
That way you are 'iron clad' for documentation purposes and she has a chance to see the 'you mean business' - polite but firmly devoted to your DD.
... We have also decided that we will not sign off on the IEP if it does not specifically mention the color chart issue.
Excellent. If child's problem is anxiety - such as snakes - would she be placed in a room with a snake tank? Even if it was a classroom-wide learning experience? Probably not.
My fear is that DD will just refuse to go back if she sees a color chart on her first visit before school starts. I guess I will have to leave up to the school to figure out how to undue that damage if it happens. Hard to accept but I think that is what the situation boils down to.
That sounds right. You can't take responsibility for their decisions. It's possible that your DD will be placed in the excellent known teacher with the color chart, and somehow be able to not be bothered by it. Kids are amazing. My Uncle had a 'Elmer Fudd' type of speech impediment. The way he tells it, nothing helped to cure it, until one day he met his new teacher who also had an 'Elmer Fudd' speech impediment. The teacher introduced himself to the class, and my uncle told us: "I knew that if the new teacher heard the way I talked, he would think I was mocking him, and that fear just cured my speech problems instantly. I never spoke with a speech impediment again."
I'm not suggesting that approach, but trying to gently remind that human beings are very mysterious, and we never know if our very reasonable fears are going to occur or not.
But document everything!!!
Smiles,
Grinity
