I have not sent the message yet - I worded it very carefully i.e. we really want to be "Name of Private parents" one day soon but that right now we need to see exactly what kind of services we would have to put together in order to have her succeed there. I explained that if DD needs the OG services more than 2 days per week plus we have to purchase assistive technology ourselves all in addition to their tuition (they did not give us a financial aid award) the total expenses would be too much for us to undertake. Hopefully I drafted it in a way that does not burn bridges...
I totally agree about the gut instinct and that is why I have been so upset since seeing the large color chart in the suggested classroom. It was like getting a big punch right in my "mom gut." I just know that DD will be stressed out. I also feel that I will lose her trust if after letting her visit the private with its assurance that she would not have to worry about it that I instead placed her in a classroom with a big one looming over her.
On a brighter note I chatted online with a friend last night who is good friends with the new "mystery" teacher and her description makes it sound like a GREAT fit. She will confirm today but feels certain that mystery teacher "would never use a color chart - it's just not her classroom style." She then described a teacher with 15 year experience, who is warm and nurturing - even brings her guitar to class. She is married to the ranger at a local park so very nature oriented. Music (any kind of performing really) and nature are 2 of DD's passions so it sounds like a perfect fit. I got off the computer and actually slept 8 solid hours last night - I haven't done that since this whole process began. I take that to mean that this really could be a solution...
Will keep you posted.
PS: By the way I emailed the school psych drafting the IEP and strongly requested (some might say insisted but I hope I came across nicer than that) that the color chart be mentioned in the IEP since it is a major trigger and works against the "positive reinforcement" clause. Have to decide if I refuse to sign off on it if it is not there...
