Syler,

I'd get this book ON TAPE and listen to it. Don't read it. LISTEN to it as it seems most of your issues revolve around oral communications. The author describes in social and biochemical terms how emotions form and their basis.

http://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Intelligence-Matter-More-Than/dp/0553375067

And then read this one.

http://www.amazon.com/Adult-Children-Alcoholics-Janet-Woititz
/dp/1558741127

And this one

http://www.amazon.com/Without-Conscience-Disturbing-World-Psychopaths/dp/1572304510

and then this one

http://www.amazon.com/Language-Letting-Go-Hazelden-Meditation/dp/0894866370


After that, you need to see depictions of healthy relationships and healthy male role models. Films are good as are many of the books. I'll let some others chime in on this.

I do think you need to get counseling from a licensed Psychotherapist. They can help you to rewrite the script in your mind - and most are highly intelligent. You can google for some with work with gifted adults. I know a number of adults who are much happier and much more productive as adults since they spent a year or two working through their issues.

I'll leave you with one thought:

The masculine role model you had as a young boy is so revolting as to want one to not grow up or become a dad or man if that is what it means to be a dad and a man.

Last edited by Austin; 08/19/10 01:03 PM.