I have read that about bullies too, you're supposed to phrase your sentences as "I need", "I feel" and never, ever make "you" sentences. I have been following this advice and it has been working.
Here's the wiki-link to the structure of disfunctional family drama- the Karpman Triangle.
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karpman_drama_triangle?wasRedirected=true
I'm sorry if it's still trying to "fix things" when everybody else is just trying to talk about it, not necessarily solve it. It's just how I am. Still need to work on saying the right thing rather than digging up the right answer.

Youth lives by personality, age lives by calculation. -- Aristotle on a calendar