Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Why would they call this a gift?

I appreciate everyone taking time to help me. I will continue to try to figure out what I am doing wrong.

Please also understand that a lot of what I say is meant to get my point across and may come off as extreme in this medium.

I do however, think there may be too much emphasis on what I may be doing wrong instead of how to best solve the problem. Suppose you were playing a game of 1 on 1 basketball with a pro basketball player. One can only imagine it would be boring for the pro and quite frustrating for you. Would either of you be doing anything wrong in this situation or would the problem simply be a natural result of the disparity between your abilities?

One expert used this exact analogy to explain to me why I have social difficulties so I'm not sure it's safe to assume I must be doing something wrong. Despite this, my entire life has been an effort to figure out what I am doing wrong and what I can do differently. The conclusion I always seem to reach is that it doesn't matter what I do or say. I have actually done experiments in which I meticulously monitored everything I said and have still not found acceptance with people. In fact, on occasion I have found that people I have never met have expressed dislike of me.

What I find, is that as one moves up the socioeconomic ladder, people tend to scrutinize the social value of others. Do any of you recall a bunch of fat ugly girls in the high school "in crowd?" Of course with that particular subset of people, many other superficial things enter the mix as well.

I also notice that even people who are not the popular kids tend to show a great deal of conformity and those who do not become outcasts. Perhaps it is my lack of conformity and not what I say or how I communicate that is the problem. After all, social exchange theory holds that people align themselves with those from whom they receive a benefit. Perhaps people just make a rational judgment not to align with a non-conformist or even someone who is different for fear that the person would drag them down.

Because I have been so brutally slammed into the margins in life, I have and continue to be different even if I try to conform. I remember talking to one guy in college (I was an older returning student) and I made a comment about how unaccepting of me people were. He stated very simply "dude, you are older - you don't belong here."

I think maybe it is possible that my life has never afforded the luxury of being where I belong. Maybe, people simply don't like people who are different. Maybe it is as simple as that.