I am also wondering out aloud if this is just an age issue -- as in, will he outgrow it (with supports, scaffolding etc) ? Or, do people who have challenges with executive function, have it for life ?
Some EF deficits are perfectly normal at that age. Teachers are usually very deliberate in giving instructions and making sure each kid is on the same page before moving to the next instruction for precisely that reason. As they get older, the teachers expect them to take on more responsibility.
We never got any complaints about our DD9's EF at school, but we saw plenty of issues at home: forgetting to bring things to school, forgetting to bring things home, forgetting to write down homework assignments, forgetting that she had homework assignments, etc. The biggest issues happened with large projects, where she couldn't get organized, and we had to break down the projects into manageable chunks for her, then schedule her time, etc. We expected to deal with some of this, and her friends were having similar issues, so we never saw any of it as developmentally abnormal.
This year, it's like the scaffolds have completely fallen off, and she's managing all of her homework tasks like a pro... AND she's managing them alongside her extracurriculars as well. We were quite stunned to see her decide to pick an instrument and join the band in recent weeks, and discard the robotics team to make room for it.
If your DS's teacher is talking to you about it, then clearly she's seeing things that she doesn't deem normal. I'd suggest you go to the class and observe, if possible, to see how different his behavior is from his peers. There are possible causes that have nothing to do with a true EF deficit, like:
- Your DS is daydreaming, due to boredom.
- Your DS is behaving normally, but his teacher is seeing it differently (possibly being overly critical due to previous requests for accommodations).
Moreover... how is his EF when he's at home and doing things that have nothing to do with school?
