DD6 (1st grade) is having more and more problems in school; I could use some advice. DD says she hates school, mostly refuses to do her homework, and has become an emotional, angry wreck at home. She has started misbehaving at school in subtle ways (e.g. she threw away her writing and math packets so she wouldn't have to do them; she hangs out in the bathroom on her way to science and PE so she can spend less time in those classes). However, DD adores her teacher, and her teacher thinks highly of her.

She's in a 1st/2nd grade combo, and the teacher has mostly kept kids within their grades for their work. About a month ago, though, she ditched Everyday Math and divided the kids into two ability-based math groups. DD is with the 2nd graders, and now gets alternate math homework that is marginally more difficult. The teacher has encouraged DD to challenge herself, and says she is providing opportunities for DD to do so. The teacher seems to be willing to allow DD to go further, at least when that is possible. However, I suspect most of what is being taught she already knows, and there isn't time for much individualized attention, if any.

When DD gets home, she is grouchy, belligerent, and mostly unwilling to talk about her day at all. I understand the need for decompression time, and I respect it, but the grumpiness sometimes lasts the rest of the day. Some days she'll do her homework, other days she stomps off if I ask her about it. This is a kid who is normally upbeat, cheerful, and ready to tackle problems. At school she apparently still has this facade (according to her teacher), but at home she explodes.

Friendships are another problem DD has. She has none, or at least none that I hear about. There are kids she plays with occasionally, but not on a regular basis. She likes the kids in her class, she just doesn't seem interested in playing with them. While this doesn't seem to bother her, I imagine that it is not helping her enjoy school. That is, I feel that if she had even one good friend at school, she would be more inclined to go.

On top of this, I am homeschooling DS8. This is our first year, and it's been rocky (i.e. I'm not sure I'm ready to take on a second kid). DD is starting to go down the same path DS did in 1st grade, and if she remains on the same trajectory, it will be a disaster. Her current teacher is much better than those DS had, and DD can be in her class next year, so she'll be better off. But I am concerned that even with a lot of intervention, DD is learning to dislike school and learning deviant behaviors.

Ultimately, I think we are going to wind up homeschooling DD. But I would so love to at least get through the end of the school year without DD spiraling into an angry, depressed mess of a kid.

I am hoping to have a meeting with her teacher next week. I know she has done a lot of advocacy on behalf of her own kids, so at least we are in agreement on that. I like this teacher so much, and yet I feel she is going to be limited in what she can do by the school system.