... accept the truth about school, which is that she may not get what she needs from it... expectations of education are across the board, and we have a LOT of people who are not incentivized to learn anything at all because of structural inequality. So you have to think... what can I expect from the school?
Because the school may be teaching to the bottom 10% as you mentioned, we have lot of people who are not incentivized to learn anything and that
is structural inequality. This is why we advocate: to help gain access to higher academic curriculum so children will be incentivized to learn. The challenge and stimulation of new ideas presented by advanced academics will continue to strengthen neural development, enhancing their brain's development. This is an intriguing area of research.
Taxpayers funding the public school system have a voice in helping shape and define that public school system.
School is about demonstrating existing knowledge for a lot of kids. That's the success. Not everyone likes demonstrating knowledge, but that's what it's about.
Yes, some classrooms offer differentiation which consists of differentiated work products, but no instruction. Children may be required to teach themselves and produce at a higher level (sometimes both quality and quantity), demonstrating existing knowledge without being taught. This is why we advocate to change our children's lived experiences with the schools.
I completely agree with needing to change the system, get involved, advocate, etc. It is no accident that I personally live in a district where I can't buy, but we rent, and in which I work hard to get my kids into the best schools.
My advice here is for the OP and her daughter, because there is a good reason to believe that making school fun and enjoyable for this kid (vs. tolerable) is going to be a very long battle.
And helping her daughter understand that there's nothing wrong with her for not enjoying it, I think, is one thing to do to alleviate stress.
Guilt and fear are a huge part of stress and unhappiness. When you feel like you are understood and supported--even if you still have to suffer through something--you can often tolerate it much better. "School is boring for me. That's okay. It doesn't mean I can't ever learn anything again. Sure, I don't really fit in here. But I do fit in at my girl's Lego club, and I have friends, and I know I'm a worthy person. My family knows what I'm going through and they support me in getting through the day."
Of course you want to change the child's surroundings, not to mention the entire school system. But in the short term, the child is suffering and probably feeling bad about suffering. That is what I'm trying to address.
I completely agree that we need to advocate.
