Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion New! Help Needed for 2e gifted 7 yo w School Traum

I’m the parent of a newly identified 2e gifted 7-year-old who is profoundly curious, emotionally sensitive, and deeply creative. We’re navigating some difficult school-related trauma after a poor educational fit led to ongoing stress, under-stimulation, and misunderstanding of his needs.

We’re currently exploring options for acceleration, more supportive environments, and long-term fit — both academically and emotionally. I’d be so grateful to connect with others who have faced similar challenges, especially in advocating for their child after a mismatch with the school system. I’m feeling a sense or urgency with school starting back in a month. He goes to a private school who we’ve contacted regarding his gifted status and are trying to see if they can accommodate us. We have not heard back yet as it’s summer wanted some help to advocate for him and see what should we be asking for?

I’m so sorry that your young son has experienced school trauma. I’m not sure my advice is going to be useful as we haven’t experienced the same, but I thought I’d at least reply and maybe something might be relevant. Please note that I am in Australia, so there may be differences in the education systems between countries.

In our experience, in the early years, the home is the primary source of learning, through informal chats about every and any thing, access to books and other learning resources (including in our household, unlimited access to the internet) and excursions.

I hope this won’t be discouraging, but we seldom found it useful to approach teachers to ask for our kids to be accelerated/extended. In our experience, teachers prefer to make their own assessments of the level of each child’s capabilities. To do so, some of them have said they gauge kids by raised hands when they ask questions, so even if seldom picked, encourage your child to raise their hands whenever they believe they have a correct answer. I was incredulous when my eldest’s eighth grade maths teacher, despite my daughter having been first in every single exam and test (with perfect or near perfect scores), commented that she never knew if my daughter understood the content taught in class because she never had her hand up.

Whilst we quickly learnt to stop making demands of teachers and the school, we also supported our kids not to have to do ‘busy work’ that provided no learning value or stimulation. I politely and firmly stated this at parent-teacher interviews. This resulted in positive negotiations whereby my kids were ostensibly engaged in the same activities as their classmates, but we were able to substitute the content - for example, my son who mastered the multiplication tables early in kindergarten, was given the same multiplication sheets as his classmates, but he completed his exercises in Roman numerals, binary and in different number bases. For spelling, he could choose his own twenty words each week to complete the same set of activities - master the spelling, learn the definition, use in a complete sentence. He chose the most obscure words from the dictionary. The teachers were happy with these arrangements since they did not need to put in any extra effort for lesson preps and the whole class was engaged in harmonised activities.

Best wishes for your son.

Your experience really helps put things into perspective. Did you find certain teachers more open to adjusting their approach than others?

Maybe asking the school if they can offer enrichment or flexible assignments could help reduce frustration.

My son is 2e and had some poor school experiences that peaked in 3rd grade. Basically his disability was missed by school, they denied our request for an IEP assessment, they punished him for behaviors that are symptoms of disability. He now has appropriate diagnoses, receives gifted services and has a 504 plan and is in 6th grade.

My kid has very specific and atypical needs, so what works for him is probably not what would help your kid. But I am familiar with a lot of neurodiversity and learning disabilities b/c I needed to learn a lot in order to know how to help him and get him assessed.

I’ve also been navigating the US school system for a while. Because of the situation we found ourselves in I have learned to be a real fierce advocate for him with school. He is also a great self advocate. Schools tend to say they like kids to self advocate… but, my kid really throws them for a loop over and over again.

If it gives you hope, the whole situation has made him super resilient and he will dish some brass tacks if teachers mess with him. It’s odd for the school to have a kid who has disability and is a very articulate and truthful speaker. He’s human and gets his feelings hurt from time to time, can be forgetful, but he will also look a teacher square in the face and tell them he’s not going to do that… he knows when his rights are being violated. He will ask for his accommodations and report when they’re not being provided.

Feel free to ask specific questions.