I also find it frustrating to see a parenting style conflated with abuse or neglect in these discussions. I think that diminishes the suffering of those who are truly abused or neglected. I also think it is symptomatic of a tendency toward extremist language that has permeated US culture recently. So, stop it.
kcab, I personally don't condone the kind of treatment that Amy Chua describes in her article:
"I used every weapon and tactic I could think of. We worked right through dinner into the night, and I wouldn't let Lulu get up, not for water, not even to go to the bathroom. The house became a war zone, and I lost my voice yelling, but still there seemed to be only negative progress, and even I began to have doubts."
This.is.not.okay.
I'm not going to go all wishy-washy and chalk it up to "cultural differences" or "parenting styles." It's not okay to treat another human being this way. It's abusive.
Here's a well-considered response to Amy Chua. I think it's worth reading.
http://contrapuntalplatypus.wordpress.com/2011/01/08/a-3rd-way/
