We had our share of power struggles a few years ago to the point that my son started asking me if I even liked him. He said I stopped smiling and I acted like I was upset with him all the time. Even when I told him I was sorry and that it wasn't him and that I just felt really stressed, I knew he sometimes he still wondered if it was his fault, especially those few times when I really lost it and threatened to send him back to public school when he didn't do what I asked him to do, when I asked him to do it.
When I first started homeschooling I thought I had to do things closer to the way school did them because I was afraid my son might have to go back to public school at some point. My husband had cancer surgery only a few months before I was told by the principal and a teacher at our public school that I would need to homeschool my son. Co-pays and tests that insurance didn't pay for were adding up and I was afraid I might need to go back to work. As if that was not enough to deal with, my dad who lives next door to us really needed my help to look after my disabled mother. While trying to homeschool my son I was constantly going to the window to make sure my mother hadn't wandered out of her house wearing only her nightgown while my dad wasn't looking. I was often stressed out and distracted and there were no breaks at all from this stress. I was also worried because my son is twice exceptional and wasn't sure how to help him with handwriting issues. I just did the best I could and learned through trial and error.
I also became more of a facilitator as time went on because what I was doing wasn't working for me or my son. Now my son and I learn a lot of things together. He says we are unschooling everything except math, which he admits is his least favorite subject and he probably wouldn't do much math if he didn't have to. I only have him do one or two worksheets 4 days a week and he does online math games to increase his mental math speed. Some things are better now and there isn't quite as much stress. My husband, who recently passed the 5-year anniversary of his surgery, is now considered a cancer survivor and things are little easier financially. For us, less stress equals more learning.
