Hi Bronxmom,
Welcome and congrats on DYS. I do hope you find some help there, I second what the others have said.
I know nothing about the health issues, so I can't comment. Other than, it sounds very challenging and I know that chronic conditions can be so very draining.
We are in a school district that is also highly sought out, especially for gifted programs. I was perplexed as to why it wasn't working for my HG/PG girls. We also have an HG magnet that is supposed to be great and DD9 should qualify to attend next year.
DH and I did decide to strongly request that the school work with us in attempting to dual enroll them. We were also worried about *fall out*, however, it's worked very well. Like Questions and Kriston, we've found that when exposed to a learning environment that suits the way they think, they respond beautifully. And since DD9 is also going to the public school in the afternoon, her performance in math has seemed to instantly improve upon having that break from the whole school day.
She seems to struggle verbalizing her thought process, especially in math. You have to remember, that most schools follow a very linear and auditory sequential type method for teaching and there are very valid reasons for doing so.
For some kids it doesn't work as well, though.
As a parent, it's very hard to figure out what the right path is for a child who doesn't seem to fit well in the school system. It's a little disconcerting to look around and see all the other kids fitting/doing well and wonder why it's not working.....
It probably took us about a year to figure out a good solution, but we did eventually. I'm sure you will, too.
It's a journey........
