Ask how his "academic level" has been assessed by the teacher. How does she know she's teaching him at the right level?
Great advice and it may received as less provocative to word it as "What do your test results show us about his academic level?"
I'd also add: be prepared to hear "academic level" assessments that don't make sense for your child. This happened to me and it turned out the school's interpretation of my DD6's assessments were way off base. I was given hand written MAP data that was actually erroneous. Ask for official copies of the test reports.
Also I was given an SRI reading score that the teacher said put DD6 at the beginning of second grade reading level. When I looked at it later, I realized she had used the Lexile Text Measures to interpret DD's score (middle 50% of materials found in a typical grade classroom)instead of the Lexile Reader Measures (middle 50% of students at mid year). Using the Lexile Reader Measures made a significant difference.
It's been frustrating that they misinterpreted the data in such a way that made DD6 look less capable than she is. Take their test results with a healthy amount of skepticism if it seems significantly different from what you know about your child.
I hope the meeting goes well. Since the teacher requested the meeting, it may be best if you start off in "receive mode." Show her with body language that she has your full attention and you are receptive to hearing her.
When it's your turn, you can get her attention by leading with something she's not expecting: an apology for how your e-mail may have come across or a compliment about something that's working for your son in her classroom.
Here's some other quotes that may help to keep in the back of your mind during the meeting:
�The essence of advocacy is to keep a conversation going.� Bob Babbage
You must always play the role of Ms. Manners (who merged with Peter Columbo) and ask lots of �5 W�s + H + E questions� (who, what, when, where, why, how, explain). (From Wrightslaw)
I'll be hoping for the best and I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who upsets teachers (...and the PTA...and the principal... and the superintendent).
