It took some of the others until DS's SAT score passed theirs
Ha!!!
Crisc,
I similarly have a natural talent for stating the obvious, scientific, and logical facts to a teacher... and instantaneously pissing her off. DS8 has a very kind and sweet teacher this year for Language Arts. At a parent/teacher conference in November, she gushed about how wonderful it was to have DS in her class, and how he brought such insightful points of view to the class discussion. I thought that I had a teacher that really understood my son and was supportive. About a month later, DS started to actively complain about the level of reading material in his 4th grade class. They were reading a book that was 5 grade levels below his reading level. Even the private gifted counselor that we see recommended that the teacher allow DS to read above level books and do similar writing assignments on those instead. So with great confidence, I fired off an email asking if she could give DS more challenging work. I tried to phrase it politely, and offered to do any of the additional legwork necessary, so as to not impose upon her time.
Well, I got a serious smack-down reply with the typical remarks..."The work was appropriately challenging for DS. There are other kids in the class with higher reading levels than DS." etc... I must have wrankled some nerve in this women by unintentionally implying that she was not a good teacher if she was not challenging a student in her classroom. But she really has no clue, even with her own reading assessment in front of her, that DS needs something more than the average student. She knows he is bright, but she teaches bright students every day. He is no different than any of the other "bright" students in the class.
So I don't have any words of wisdom for you. I would happily take any offered for you, though. Somehow, you have to teach the teacher about levels of giftedness. All bright kids are not the same. And if the teacher is convinced that she is the reigning expert on teaching, then nothing you can say will change her mind. <sad but true!>
And as for test data, I agree with all of the above when they say that WJ III and WISC-type scores don't really help. They may have not ever seen scores in that ballpark before, or they just don't understand the statistics involved. They are more likely to understand things like an end-of-the-year assessment test for a particular subject in a particular grade. All teachers give a test at the end of the year to measure how their first graders mastered first grade math. You could ask her to give your child that test now. If he passes it, then she has to admit that there is very little left in the standard curriculum for her to teach him. We have also suggested in the past that the school allow our son to sit in with an older grade for the state achievement tests. These tests are meaningless to most of us, since they measure bare minimum performance. But the school pust great stock in them. If you child passes the 3rd grade math state assessment for example, and you would be horrified at how basic these tests are, then somehow the school seems to sit up and take notice.
Try to find whatever assessment that the school puts the most stock in and go with that. In fact, ask sweetly for them to come up with a way to assess the educational needs of your child. Let them brainstorm a bit and if they come up with the idea, then they are more likely to accept the results.
I really feel for you Crisc! We went through a similar painful stretch, with both the teacher and the behavior issue, in first grade. DS had a teacher that knew he was bright but didn't understand why he didn't want to do all of her coloring assignments. DS was terribly frustrated and his behavior at home, and occasionally at school was less than stellar. That year was a complete bust for DS, and he suffered terribly for it. We just didn't know enough at that point in time to really fight for what he needed. You are in a much better position than we were to be even fighting these battle in 1st grade, awful as they are. On the behavior side of things, we fought our share of battles with grounding him, taking away his computer/tv time, and even taking away his precious legos for a two week period. (He was left with very little to do for two very looooong weeks!) There were also times when he lashed out at us at home in frustration. The situation improved greatly when he was grade accelerated, but even then there was a period of transition where the social friction caused behavior problems. Even now at age eight, there are days when he comes home from school in a major snit. He has, for the most part, learned how to go up to his room and "vent his frustration" in an acceptable manor before coming back down and joining civilization. That level of restraint just takes time, and lots of love and support. (and he still has moments when the frustration just gets the better of him, but they are becoming less and less frequent.)
So I know, to some extent, what you are going through. Hang on tight and try to ride it out. Somehow the battles seem to change from year to year. But I'm not sure that they get easier. I looked at DH the other day after a particular snarky comment on DS's part (after a hard day at school, even with a grade acceleration and subject acceleration!) and said , "If DS is a 14 year old mind stuck in an 8 year old body, then does that mean we have a teenager now or for the next seemingly eternity years?" It was at least worth a laugh! And laughter is the only way to get through this sometimes!!
