I obviously haven't seen your independent eval report, but I'm wondering if it focused enough on educational needs or impact. I think what you need is an educational psych. We took DD to a major university to a combined neuro/educational psych (I guess he has degrees in both). So he did neuropsychological testing but the focus was on things like EF ability, processing speed, memory, and achievement testing...not to give a diagnosis like ASD or ADHD (although she already had an ADHD diagnosis). Your outside eval has to be very blunt about educational concerns, or the district will disregard it. If you can afford it, I would look for someone who can do a "real" IEE, and then take that report back to the district. Or you can try to force the district to do it, just keep in mind what I said earlier about how they may try to manipulate the results. But if you allow them to do it, you can always disagree with them and then force them to pay for the IEE.
Anyway, I am sorry you are dealing with this. I get the sense that you are giving up (or feel like giving up)...don't do that, just take a few days to think about everything and plan your next steps.
Have they given you a copy of "parental safeguards" detailing your due process rights? Ours even has a list of advocacy groups to call, the Dept. of Ed, etc. I think they are mandated to give this to parents every time they deny the request of a parent.
