I think the main reason we have the IEP is that DS has outbursts and is disruptive. If he was quiet and internalized his issues, I doubt we would have one. Which is sad because he clearly needs it.
And as I've mentioned before, having an IEP is just the beginning. Then you need to get the school to follow it, which has not been happening in our case.
Lately, I've been tempted to tell DS that he will succeed in spite of school rather than because of it.
Yes, I was just hoping someone at school would directly work with him because I am running myself into the ground trying to be his paraprofessional.
On the upside: I am doing MUCH better in middle school this go-round than I did when it was my turn. :P (My experience mirrored DS' experience, almost exactly. Except he is smarter.)
His shut-down internalizing thing doesn't help much, does it? That's why part of me is tempted to sic him on the school without my help. It wouldn't serve DS, though, so I'll resist.
He should still be able to have behavioral intervention with a 504.
504 Coordinator originally said he could, but then said he can't. His behaviors are not disruptive (to anyone else) at this time but do interfere with his ability to function.
Now is the time to focus on the issues your DS is having, and how can we set him up for success? Keep at it. What does he need? Look it happened again. He's in middle school, yes? If so, keep on the guidance counselor and copy the administrators (either VP or principal depending on who would get involved).
They aren't seeing the issues, I guess, because I'm over-functioning for him at home. I am keeping your advice in mind, along with the last post you shared with me. Right now is time to lay low but I may need to make a second wave attempt at some point.
Keep it about how the disability is showing up and messing with his success. And every once in a while mention that this is "consistent with the disability".
And if after a while of this, you are getting negative feedback rather than a spirit of helpfulness, you really need to consider a different educational environment. He deserves a full education, one that supports all of him.
Don't give up. You have one answer about what is not happening, and now you need to make a map of other roads you can follow.
Thank you! It's all a work in process. There's not a great fit for him right now--trying to make the best of the least worst-option. I'm not letting him fall through the cracks, but this may take decades off my life.
