I just feel like this needs to be said: There has been a lot of focus on the negative and every once in a while it's good to sit back and see your son for the great kid he is. What are the positives? What is he doing well? What does he contribute to your family and the school environment just by being who he is? Forget the bad school fit for now. Remind him that he is a capable learner, and that if he does his part, you will do your part to support him to growing into the person he can be. Let him know that the other kids feel supported because that's what school is set up for, and that he needs to be supported too. (This could lead to an interesting conversation BTW where he spills his feelings and any resistance begins to thaw)
And when you are gearing up for your next step, remember why you are doing it. For the wonderful kid you have and his bright future. And it even helps in the next phase if you remind school of all the positives. Plus, it is energizing.
I like all of this a lot, and it's exactly what I want to do. If the constant threat of his being removed from the program wasn't hanging over our heads--I'd just move on. Pay for the services we can afford, work on things informally that I can't afford to address, privately.
You may wish to send an email or letter to numerous people (this sort of thing has to be in writing). State that as per section xxx of federal law, you requested an evaluation and that it was refused, which is a violation of the same law. Note chapter and verse the way Wrightslaw does, and ask why they're failing to comply with the law.
I totally understand what you are saying. I feel like if I start referencing laws, it's time to hire an attorney. I'm out of my league.
Nagging feeling: if I have to pay a lawyer to keep my kid in a school, why even. KWIM?
The only rational reason is that I don't know what else to do with him, really. I guess he could drop out at age 12.
